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How to help a crystal meth addict?

Methamphetamine – meth, for short – is a highly addictive and powerful stimulant that affects the central nervous system. Meth works in the brain to cause increased alertness and energy and to decrease appetite by interacting with the neurotransmitters of the brain and nervous system.

But how do you know when someone is having a problem with meth addiction? And what can you do about it?  We review more here. How to help a meth addict, what to expect during treatment, and a section for your questions about getting help with crystal meth addiction at the end.

How to help a crystal meth addict?

In general, you can only help an addict when s/he is ready for help.  Meth addicts are no different. However, there are interventions you can plan and ways to help address cases of addiction when you identify a problem.  The first step is to know more about crystal meth itself.

Methamphetamine can be found in many different solid forms and varies in color from white to brown. The form of clear chunky crystals is known as crystal meth, or ice. This synthetic drug is a neurotoxin that causes dependence and addiction psychosis, high body temperature, stroke, and cardiac arrhythmia.

Help a crystal meth addict quit

Second, you can help a crystal meth addict by understanding more about the treatment process. Knowing about crystal meth effects and understanding the needs of a crystal meth addict can help you help them begin the recovery process. Crystal meth addiction treatment is a painstaking process that includes detox followed by behavioral and psychological treatment.

Crystal meth addicts may have some medical issues like skin infection, lung diseases, dental problems, paranoid delusions, panic reaction, depression, and mood disorders. Moreover, crystal meth addiction can cause a long-term structural damage to the brain regions that control motor coordination and memory. These effects may be related to the duration of time that crystal meth remains in the human system. So what happens during detox from crystal meth?

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Crystal meth withdrawal usually results in severe depression and paranoia that may lead to relapse or even suicidal attempts. In addition, crystal meth addicts may exhibit depressive symptoms during the recovery process, such as:

  • fatigue
  • having  memory and concentration problems
  • impaired decision making ability
  • inability to experience pleasure (anhedonia)
  • increased sleep periods

There are numerous interventions to help crystal meth addicts go through detoxification. Here is a list of some of them:

  • Contact a physician in order to get prescribed medication during crystal meth withdrawal (Some early evidence suggests Varenicline as a possible medication that helps in crystal meth addiction).
  • Conduct a medical and psychiatric evaluation.
  • Find a medical professional who can create a self-designed program to help a crystal meth addict.
  • Talk openly with the addict in order to find out the nature of their fears.

Treatments for crystal meth addicts

To date, there are no medications currently approved for the treatment of crystal meth addiction. Nevertheless, some scientific studies have shown that helpful psychosocial treatments for cocaine addicts are also effective in crystal meth addiction treatment such as Community Reinforcement Approach, 12-Step Facilitation Therapy, Individual Drug Counseling, and Group Therapy. Furthermore, there are several approaches that have been used especially for crystal meth addicts such as Contingency Management, Matrix Model, and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. The goal of all these treatments is same: to help a crystal meth addict stay clean.

Help a crystal meth addict friend

Planning a structured intervention can guide a crystal meth addict toward abstinence and sobriety. Interventions are usually planned events during which you present your concerns and objective observations about your friend’s behavior to them directly. The goal of an intervention is for the addict to accept medical help and to enter addiction treatment. In addition to these one-time intervention models, models such as the CRAFT model can take place over the course of several weeks.

Self help crystal meth addiction

Recent research has shown strong support for the value of self-help treatments and 12-step programs in crystal meth addiction to help people achieve full recovery. For example, crystal meth addicts who became involved in self-help programs had better treatment outcome than those who did not. All self-help treatments include a lot of effort, support, and encouragement not only from crystal meth addicts, but also from addicts’ family and friends.

Get help crystal meth addiction

Recovery requires long-term treatment which needs constant medical supervision. In fact, getting help for addiction to crystal meth usually requires both personal and professional support.

First of all, friend and family can be a significant source of unconditional love and concern, and they are a secure place to start. Sceond, licensed professionals such as psychologists, social workers, psychiatrists, or physicians can help refer you to appropriate treatment. A list of possible resources for crystal meth addiction follows:

  1. Addiction treatment centers – These include crystal meth addiction facilities where addicts may choose among combination of treatments, either as resident for several months or on an outpatient basis.
  2. Crystal meth support groups – These are non-formal meetings between former addicts who share their experiences in order to gain positive result in recovery.
  3. Detox clinics – A medical clinic where doctors supervise the process of detoxification.
  4. Mental health professionals – Clinical psychiatrists or psychologists who have specialized in addiction treatment can offer suitable advice for crystal meth addiction.

Helping crystal meth addiction questions

Addressing and treating addiction can be a struggle, and we hope that we have managed to give us the basic information on how to help a crystal meth addict. Nonetheless, if you have any questions or concerns about crystal meth addiction, do not hesitate to post them in the comments section below. We will try to answer you with a personal and prompt response as soon as possible.

Reference Sources: NCJRS: Methamphetamine Treatment: A Practitioner’s Reference
NIH: ‘Tweaking 12-Step': the potential role of 12-Step self-help group involvement in methamphetamine recovery
NIH: The burden and management of crystal meth use

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76 Responses to “How to help a crystal meth addict?
Sue
9:01 pm July 9th, 2014

I’m a 49 yr old mother of 2 daughters aged 24 and 26. I’ve been thru hell and back in my life. Starting from my childhood till now. I was abused roughly from age 8 until I was 16. In my mid twenties my husband had back surgery which went horribly wrong. Dr’s had him in thereat way too long, over 12 hrs. He had a heart attack, kidney failure and total muscle meltdown. Ended up in intensive care nad thank god pulled thru. But needed to have dialysis and learn how to walk again. He came home in a wheelchair, into my care. It was very hard, stressful and depressing. Our daughters were very young 5 and 4 yrs old. So now my life was turned upside down, everything was on my back from housework, looking after the kids, nursing my sick husband doing all the chores and the front and back yard from mowing the lawns to gardening and heavy lifting. I would try do hard to be strong for our kids and my husband and trying to hold it all together. Over the past 20 yrs I’ve had to do the lot. ‘Cuz of my husband’s health it’s been on my back. One of our daughters at age 5 was very sick with meningeal meningitis, lucky she survived and wasn’t left with any limbs missing. But it was also a horrific time then when she was 18 she fell pregnant, we supported her. Her and her partner lived with us and I was there for my daughter no matter what. Through out everything going on over the years I myself was struggling with my own health problems. I needed surgery for many different types of problems. But I put my health on hold to be there for everyone else and put myself last. As I got older and my health worse, developing arthritis in my joints, bad hip hernias etc. My body was so tired but there is a lot waiting for me to do.. Things a man should be doing but I have to. Clearing out sheds from clutter etc. Then our daughter wants to have party at our home so pressure is on.
Need to get everything cleaned, but my body’s in pain so someone suggested I try having a smoke of meth coz I would get it all done in no time. At first I didn’t believe it and was very hesitant but then ok I will try. Well that was the biggest biggest mistake of my life. Coz when I smoked it, I was getting all my work done and it was helping me cope.
Esp not long ago my husband’s health got worse he was in hospital for over 4 months. So more pressure on me. I couldn’t cope but then I would have a smoke of meth and off I went. If also helps me with my pain and it helps not to be so much on edge. My husband knows that I smoke meth bit hates me doing so. We live in a 2 story house and I have got a lot of work and cleaning I got to do upstairs. I promised my husband that when I finish up there I want to stop smoking meth. I’m not in denial and I know it’s the worst drug I could’ve turned to, but coz it helps with my pain I keep smoking it. Also while my husband was in hospital for 4 months, in between that time my mother in law passed away suddenly from a brain tumor. That was very hard for me coz I’m home alone no one to talk to…husband in hospital. Despite my eldest daughter living next door to us, but she turned her back on me and now my youngest daughter has turned her back on me too. I’ve been so so upset .. My daughters found out I smoke meth, so now it’s been 7 months since they turned their back on me and their partners have done the same. Also telling my 6 year old granddaughter that she can’t be at our house alone with her grandma coz it’s not safe. When I heard this I was crying so much!
That comment hurt me very much coz I never have hurt my granddaughter in any way, not physically or mentaly. She is my world my angel, and I never would hurt her. What my daughters are doing how they have all turned away from me hurts me so much. For all these years I’ve been there for them no matter what good or bad. Helped them financially babysitting etc. Now that I need their support more than ever they turn their back on me and makes me feel like I’m meaningless and worthless.
All this makes me turn to the glass pipe and smoke more meth coz it relax me and I block everything out. I know it’s not a good way to do but I can’t help it. I heard a talk show say that some meth users turn to meth as a result of bad things happening and could stem from childhood. I listened to the show and I related. But my daughters don’t believe me that the more they mistreat me, abuse me the more I smoke meth. Also what pushed me more to smoking meth was in mid Jan 2014 my eldest daughter came to our home. Everything was good until I said some home truths about her and her sisters attitude she didn’t like this started to yell. I kept asking her to stop yelling at me for no reason. All of a sudden she jumps up and starts bashing me up…pulling my hair punching me in the head full fists closed then pushed me and I fell straight onto tiled floor, flat on my back side. Ouch! I hurt my hip and my coil bone even more. This really destroyed me, it broke my heart into a million pieces. Then smoked more meth. Also with all the above I needed to deal with deaths in the family, first my father in law, then my husband’s grandma and my dad. We had 3 family members pass away but the last 2 was grandma and my dad passing away with a year of each other.
So, this is why I haven’t stopped smoking meth. It helps me keep going and helps me live and do my everyday things.
Now my husband has told our daughters the he is there for me fully 100% for support and to help me thru this horrible time. He told them they are wrong for having turned away from me, that I need their support now etc. but they are not listening. Actually, now our daughters won’t let my husband see our grandchildren. I think this is very very cruel of our daughters to have turned away from me their mum that’s done nothing to them but help them and be there for them all. But now that I need my daughters’ support… I think they should be ashamed of themselves for treating me like I don’t exist and with their behavior towards me and not allowing my grand-kids to our house is pushing me over the edge. They won’t stop till one day it might be too late. They haven’t stopped once to think and say to each other hey, there must be something that has triggered for our mum to be smoking meth and try to understand why their mum turned to meth. I thank god i have my husband by my side, but i also need my daughters around me. The way they have turned their back on me not letting me associate with my grand-kids, my youngest daughter has a 8 month old baby boy and I love him so much but I haven’t seen him in over 7 months. All this is slowly day by day killing me inside, emotionally and mentally… I can’t take much more. My husband has told our girls all this and they still don’t care. Please help me, I don’t know what to do. I need my daughters help during the hell I’m going to be going thru when I stop smoking Meth. I hope you can help me with suggestions please.

Trish
2:46 pm July 19th, 2014

Do delusions & paranoia last as long as almost a year into recovery or is that a sign of relapse?

9:32 am July 29th, 2014

Hi Trish. Paranoia and delusions usually happen when someone is using meth or when they come down off of it. Paranoia decreases as clean time increases.
However, in individuals with psychosis, prediposition for psychosis or other mental dissorders that will display the symptoms you described. If delusions and paranoia still last after three months or so, medical/psychiatric attention is needed.

josh
1:06 am October 21st, 2014

My girlfriend is addicted to meth and I see it destroying her life. I myself have never done It so I don’t know first hand what the effects are but I am seeing that meth is a contributing factor. She sleeps for three or four days then she thinks that I am being unfaithful because I have talked to other women. I worked in the towing business so I had to interact with people and some of those people were women but I have tried explaining to her that I would never be unfaithful to her. She uses that as an excuse to smoke more. She doesn’t want to quit and that’s what hurts me is I know she has to want to quit and it has such a hold on her that I’m afraid she’s either going to eventually wreck her body beyond repair or shes going to get caught by the law and become a felon. I don’t know what to do to help her because I don’t have the people to stage an intervention and now its gotten to the point that we have seperated. I just need help figuring out if I can help her or if I should just let her fall. I love her and am willing to do whatever it takes to get her help but I can’t do it alone. If anyone who reads this has any advice please help me.

2:27 pm October 21st, 2014

Hi Josh. An intervention is a good idea. Here is more to read: http://addictionblog.org/FAQ/interventions/ But, otherwise I believe it’s best to talk to a professional about your approach and type of support you can offer. It is a delicate situation.

walter
4:57 am December 9th, 2014

I have a brother that has smoked meth 8 times in one month and is trying to quit he is starting to feel something on his skin, trys not to scratch and a pain in his eyes constantly sleeping more then he use to is he going to recover? Plus we are taking him to detox

11:16 am December 12th, 2014

Hi Walter. I’m sorry for what your brother and your family are going through. I’m glad to read you are taking him to a detox center. But, aftercare is even more important. I’d suggest finding a support group, counseling sessions or behavioral therapy, to improve his chances of success.

jen
4:57 am January 31st, 2015

My brother has been using crystal meth on and off for years. His partner is also a user. My brother called me this week begging for help after coming down from a high, and I scrambled to get him into a facility before he started feeling better again. I paid for the facility too. He is now going through a 5 day detox program, and the people at the facility have worked hard to line up a 30 day in-patient program for him (at a different facility) which will be covered by his insurance. It has been difficult to keep him from walking out of detox, and I now see no way of getting him to take the next step towards recovery.

I thought that accepting professional help was a huge step for him, but I don’t know what to do anymore if he walks away… where now do my responsibilities lie? What can Ido? My brother is a brilliant professional … this all makes me so sad.

1:18 pm February 17th, 2015

Hello Jen. While you can support him and love him, you cannot force him to commit to recovery. He has to make up his own mind and decide that he’s going to saty in treatment and get sober once and for all. Until he realizes this on his own, he may continue leaving rehab early. Have your tried to stage an intervention. Maybe if he realizes what his addiction is doing to everyone who loves him, he will get motivated for addiction treatment. You can find more on interventions here: http://addictionblog.org/FAQ/interventions/

kenny
3:41 pm March 4th, 2015

hello my names Kenny been a addict for some time now I’m 27 years old and this is not my first rodeo started when I was in high school I was turned on to it first snorting and then smoking and then came the alcohol ..expelled from school for smelling like weed when they couldn’t catch me being a thief not proud of what I’ve done in my lifetime but we all make our decisions and we have to live with. meth one heck of a drug makes you feel that you’re invisible Superman Hulk all the superheroes combine and with the dark deepness of the devil himself it’ll make you a conniving lying careless .soulless hollow shell of a human being at the time when I was in high school I was 195 pounds stocky guy at the time I got kicked out I weighed 155 pounds slim fast is a joke later on still couldn’t kick the monkey off my back until him and the Prince of Darkness wanted me for their puppet I was damn near doing his dirty work.severe seizures my father bring me back to life at the time I thought it was a dream I was looking over my mom and dad they were hovering over something to realize later it was me add more seizures after that went to Valley children send couldn’t find nothing kick the habit doing good I’ve always been a worker had a job when I was 19 Auto Body mechanic I thought I would do a little coke thinking I’ll be alright I was wrong.a good buddy of mine knew him since head start married at a young age had their own house renting but in the country seizures kicked in again my buddy got blame didn’t talk to him for a while he kept on he cheated on his wife with cocaine then introduced to her sister crystal meth I was doing alright I stayed away for quite a long time but then alcohol problem came along didn’t get my license until I was 21 lost my license at 21.3 DUI’s later this third one was not too long ago at the time I was making good money benefits 401 k plan medical insurance you name it .that went out the window no matter how much money you make you are still going to do a hundred eighty days both side of my family are drinkers in at the time I got this DUI I was with a beautiful caring woman stuck by me when I did my time I promised I would change three years later including now and a beautiful baby gir ended up move in together what a mistake that was but me coming from a good family and knowing at the time I was in jail maybe she wasn’t mine what I took care of business before I bought a beer or anything baby came first so did my beautiful lady I know it’s no excuse when I say this but you get pressured in this world we live in bills taking care of a family and you’re the only one working at the time didn’t have a drug in my body or even over drink.the apartment we moved in I knew a guy from a good friend of mine you good guy likes to party though hell who doesn’t it started out whipping him on Madden and drinking beer smoking weed and then here comes the white girl again not too long after that her sister crystal shows that started just a toke there was two toes then it was buying a dimer and an 8 ball and a lot more beer and problems to go with it even though me and my lady are split up I love her to death she’s 40 I’m 27 she’s overly jealous doesn’t trust me when the whole time we were together I never did anything slowly but surely she noticed something was wrong and I did too but I was in denial telling myself I was happy we’re going to work it out I’m not leaving you it took a restraining order me getting arrested and played like a fool this happened not too long ago October of last year I see that the my brother moved out he was 19 got my sister pregnant 8 years apart where was my brother he had the same problem that I still do now he’s doing very well air plane mechanic but just like su she feels under pressure for quite some time and between this year and last year we’ve had losses in our family too me and my brother have bumped heads but he will never be my enemy even though he’s turned his back on me and for quite some time he doesn’t come around no more way before I’m in my condition my dad’s been sick for quite some time to always on the move all he does is sit in the recliner and watches TV is very hard to see your dad die slowly due to his poor heart cancer when he was 16 beat it down the road ended up with a heart problem its been 3 years since he got sick I see my family since then slowly drift apart meaning my brother and his 2 boys and wife and recently we’ve lost my grandpa of my mom’s side my aunt my of my mom’s side my little nephew my brother’s boys he was dealt a bad hand since she was born but he was always normal to me to top it all off all I have been seeing fighting throughout my family my mom and dad my brother and his family in line and if that ain’t enough my brother’s going through bank my mom and dad lost their house I am staying at right now and the teenagers of land then I lived here since I was 12 if I made you cry yet my buddy that got turned on to crystal he is fine now doing good and his woman he’s turned his back on me so has my brother so has my beautiful lady that I was with I didn’t want this to be this long but I needed to get it out I’ve been on this page looking at this site since 8 hours ago what hurts me the most is my brother my long time buddy most importantly the woman I thought I would spend the rest of my life with but I asked for help from my buddy and my lady my buddy goes I give enough time to change my lady goes poor guy.are you a little kid that you need help well it’s your life.. can somebody out there imagine what I’m feeling I am broke down chewed up spit out and tossed to the bottom of Dante’s Inferno if it wasn’t for my baby girl and the much faith I having God believe me I thought about it many times of killing myself jumping out in front of a semi just to see if anybody notices and especially if my loving woman she told me she would shed a tear over me so far as last Sunday I finally got a straight answer out of her I’ve cried but I am done crying..I don’t have many friends one more friend I got I thought the one I grew up with and has been through what I’ve been through and even my own flesh and blood would be there for me but you know what my other buddy is there for me he smoke crystal separated with his ol lady but married at a young age he’s doing great now found another woman and she’s very positive fundraisers that little girl that took a stray bullet in Fresno she her and her family in my friend we’re part of the fundraiser if people can gather all around for little girl innocent and help their families out what’s wrong with mine where did my family go where my best friend go to sum all this up I’ve been there for people I went out of my way for people especially family I just want somebody to look out for me now give me a guiding hand in my time of need I know all these problems does not excuse to turn to drugs or whatever toot your horn but temptation is something else and the Prince of Darkness lice and can I and slippers that serpent tongue of his all around you in all honesty I’m sitting here I got a gram earlier I believe I had a slight stroke…but I have my good buddy that is a true friend and my mom and my dad and just like su she’s having to take care of everything paid bills were moving here before end of March but my mom is a strong woman.but even my mom and dad been together 30 years my dad the hard headed man 2but you .know what that’s love and I just feel worthless so if there’s anybody out there talk to me and try to guide me cuz the hell with this monkey on my back.are you at post your feelings your issues in life I hope you’re doing well 10 God bless and just goes to show you how selfish the ones that you know friends family your lover when you go out your way for him they’re not there for you all I gotta say is this world’s going to hell in a handbasket sitting on a freight training the end of days is near brother against brother family to get to families I see it and it sucks let some of my family don’t my I can’t take much heartac anymore let alone the rapid beat in the pressure that a fat lady is sitting on your chest.

Jeff
8:33 pm April 22nd, 2015

I am a 54yo white male and I met a 23 yo white male 11 months ago. I am Gay, and he noticed me “checking” him out. From that moment on I have been his target. At first, I didn’t know he was on meth. It was all about the possibility of the handsome young man be interested in me! I know stupid! But I’m a very giving person, his, “line” was not enough hours at work, too many bills, child support for his 2 kids. I wanted to help him! And I did!
He is bisexual and in the last 11 months something has only happened on one occasion. I went way out on a limb for this guy, and have spent in the neighborhood of $5000.00 helping him over the last year. $5000.00 I didn’t really have to spend by-the-way. He has lied to me over and over and over, and I’ve given him chance after chance after chance. Something just tells me this guy is worth the effort and trouble.
I’ve gotten to know him pretty well over the last year, well, as much as you can get to know an addict. I do believe he is trying, and making changes with whom he surrounds himself etc.. He is ABSOLUTELY AGAINST entering a treatment facility. He has managed to keep his rental property, but all his bills of course are behind. He and I have agreed that it would be best for him to move in with me, pay me a lesser rent than he has now, and try to get his credit straightened out. He has lied sooooo many times, it’s nothing to do with the sex anymore. This guy has potential. It’s now only about helping him through this. He hopefully understands that this is his last opportunity to take advantage of my help. I have put my foot down on that. I’m trying to trust him, but still find it difficult because of the past lies. I don’t want to set him back by mistrusting him, but I can no longer be taken advantage of either. Bluntly, I am scared as hell of him moving in with me. BUT, it’s his best and only chance right now. I’m the only person that knows him with any means or desire to help him. Please,,,,, any advice would be appreciated!

peggy
2:58 pm July 1st, 2015

Your blog was up to date and very informative. My daughter is battling with addiction for the last 6 years and 2 kids later and I am so afraid for her. Many, many times she has cleaned her act up and then hide the fact she is getting high again. I don;t want to be the bad person and take her kids away but I am to the point where I love my daughter but my grandkids need a safe enviroment to grow up in. What do I need to do to help my daughter.

When CPS called me to pick up my grandaughter
12:25 pm July 27th, 2015

The investigater yelled at me while i was holding my grandchild in my arms with nothing on but a dirty diaper.She said “how come you did not contact us” do you love your granchild? How can we be sure you would take care of the child if you continue to sit back and do nothing until it’s too late. That was an eyeopener.
You would be hepling your grandkids by getting CPS involved. It’s a long process however, they make it mandantory for the drug addict to complete programs that are free to them. My daughter chose the drugs over her own child and blames me for everything. I worry about her. But now I have adopted my grandaughter and life is good for her now.

When CPS called me to pick up my grandaughter
12:28 pm July 27th, 2015

If you sit back and do nothing cps will assume that you are not the right person to take care of the children. You did nothing! It’s not a matter of If they will take your children…….It’s when.
Do something!

Deianara
5:56 pm August 10th, 2015

My boyfriend is a addict. he stayed clean for nearly 2 months than relapsed, he said its due to the stress in his life. He has been coming off of this stuff the past two days, 3 now. My mom doesn’t want me around him, she’s a substance abuse counselor& she fears for my safety, but he wants me to help him. I have asked him to get help, but he still isn’t in a very stable mind-set at the moment, so he says that he doesn’t want to violate probation by going to treatment, and “I’m” all the help he needs. I am at a point where I am stuck, I love him, and care for him but I don’t think I am mentally strong enough to help him unless he seeks treatment. My mom doesn’t want me to have contact with him, but I fear of him using again if I don’t. We had also talked about him enlisting in the military as well, do you think that would be a good choice other than treatment? I know he wants to get better, but life keeps getting to him, I guess this is the “depression stage” you was talking about in the blog. What should I do? Someone please help me.

3:26 pm August 17th, 2015

Hello Deianara. It is clear that he needs structured addiction help and treatment. Does he have a family that can support him? Maybe they will be willing to book him in a treatment facility and stage an intervention, so he will finally realize what he’s doing to himself and others. I believe in your effort to save him, just be careful that it doesn’t become threatening to your well-being.

Too Sue
6:04 am September 15th, 2015

SUE—- I pray you see this comment. I am a 23 year old girl that has now been without her mother/best friend for a year and a half. My mother had soo many health problems.
(From thyroid, kidney failure, triple bypass open heart surgery, went blind (thankfully got her vision back) her left leg amputated, and many many times infection in her amputated leg “called gang green”. 2 days before she died she had her right leg amputated as well.) Her death certificate says she died from heart failure. Failure of kidneys, and gang green.
I’ll rewind till the time she started using meth.
My step dad, her husband of 14 years died in his sleep of natural causes and it took a toll on my mother. With all of these health issues and spending most of her time in a wheelchair since she was a severe diabetic also her leg would not heal so you can only imagine everything she felt on the inside. She felt like she was a burden on me and my grandparents*which she was not*. I was the daughter who involved her in everything. She was my true best friend. We did everything together. I was her health care provider. I took care of her. I met a man who I feel deeply in love with and moved 4 hours away. (I think it was gods way of making me ready for her to leave me, because if I wouldn’t have ever left her death would have been so much so much harder on me than it was and it was “is” still hard on me. ) about a year later she met a new man
When I went to visit her I came to find that her boyfriend did meth. She swore up and down to me that she did not do it she knew better with her health problems. She swore on my life. And if you knew my mother’s love for me you would know she would never lie to me about anything and especially put it on my life. She seemed so different she didn’t seem like herself anymore. But I believed her.
I went home. My next visit to her she had lost a good bit of weight and looked sick. I thought it was just her health. I went on and on and on about how if she was using meth I would leave her life. She swore and swore she didn’t use, but again I believed her.
My next visit. She had lost alot of more weight I was starting to see the outlines of her cheek bones. She kept her body hidden with long sleeves and pants. She looked like she was dying. I preeched and preeched and told her did she really want me to be without a mother. Did she really want die. Not see her future grandchildren if I ever had children. I told her I would not watch her die. I would go into her bedroom to find her in the master bathroom with a tray of meth. She would say she was only getting it ready for her boyfriend so he could have it as soon as he walked through the door coming from work. I didn’t believe her I wanted to but I knew better. She still swore on my life she wasn’t using but in my heart I just knew she was.
THE NEXT VISIT- THE VERY LAST TIME I SEEN HER-
she came to see me while in was out of town with my boyfriend because he was working. He travels alot for work and I go with him. Her boyfriend had left her said he wasn’t going to sit around and watch her die. She said he was talking about her health. And honestly there was no health left in her. She had lost all of her weight she was mainly just bones. I could see her skull through her skin. Her cheekbones were sticking out she looked as if she would fall over dead any moment. It broke my heart I remember being scared to touch my own mothers skin because she was so so sick. She said it was just health problems and she was fine. There was an infection in her only foot. The right one. She promised me she would go get it taken care of as soon as she got home. Healing wounds on her body have always taken much much longer than a normal person due to her health. As I went back to my hotel room to see my boyfriend as he got off of work I told him..Im loosing my mother. I believe she will not live much longer.over the next two days I sent time with my mom held her hand sang to her like she loved me to do and I cherished every moment because I just knew when she left to go home I would not see her again. I didn’t let her know how I was feeling about her and that is the biggest mistake of my life.
Two weeks later-
I got the call my mom was in the hospital with gang green in her foot and they had to amputate her only leg that was left. My mother always told me she wouldn’t live through another surgery. But she did, two days after surgery in the middle of the night her heart stopped and her difbulator went off the doctors put her on a ventilator. I lied to my family and said I was out of state and couldn’t make it to say goodbye. I just couldn’t be there. Without my mom knowing I said goodbye that last time I had seen her. I had to give a doctor my grandparents permission to take my mom off of the machine. I sat waiting for the call that it was done and my momther/best friend was gone. My mother denied the fact she was using all the way till the end, and now she’s gone and I’ll never get to hear her admit it. I know she was and I was so stupid to turn my cheek. If I would ha e done something, anything, I would still have my mom. I would havery never had to seen her the way I did. She looked awful. She was my world and the best woman you could imagine. She had so many things wrong in her life and she too choose to turn to drugs. It’s like she couldn’t see herself in the mirror. Our family didn’t know about the drugs and I feel I should tell my grandma her mom, but I just can’t. No one should have to know that. I know I’m a stranger and you don’t know me or my family but as a daughter who had a mother that did meth. I turned my back and look where it got me. But on the same note I feel as if I would have told her I knew she was doing it and if I hadn’t let her let me believe she wasn’t and if I would have turned my back and left her life completely I feel that would have been enough to make her see she had to stop. Maybe if I would have threatened her with she will never see me or my family ever again until she was clean sober and healthy, maybe just maybe she would have stopped and it would have saved her life.
Please don’t be mad at your children for leaving you, yes you need them of course you do but maybe they are smarter than me and doing the right thing by leaving hoping they will save your life.
For a moment, please visualize this.
You think your fine, and still healthy, and your blind to what meth is really doing to you. But your daughters see you. They way they see you scares them to death (trust me). Image them, your husband, your grandchildren, your friends, in this world without you. Living with regret for the rest of their life’s thinking they did the wrong thing by walking away. Having to live with that day in day out. Loosing sleep, crying wishing you were here. Begging for signs from you to let them know your okey and you don’t blame them and you don’t hate them.
I live with this everyday of my life and it kills me. I have nightmares, suicidal nightmares sometimes and that scares the hell out of me.
Now visualize this please.
Imagine if it was your child on meth. What would you do to help them? You wouldn’t turn your back being a mother I’m sure. I know my mother wouldn’t have turned her back on me if I was the one using. Think really hard about what you would do to help them………..
And then apply that to yourself. (I hope that makes since).if you feel as if you can’t do it alone force yourself into a rehab for the sake of your children’s lifes. Their minds, their thoughts, their regrets that they will have ( I promise). Please don’t let the meth win. If I could have one wish, it would be to help save your life with this long message about my life. Although you don’t know me aND I don’t know you please know I will pray for you every single night I will pray for you to find the strength to find a way to save your life from this awful drug that took my mother away from me. I will be praying you say this message of mine every single night before I go to sleep.
You might think your okey, but my mom was blind when it came to seeing how she really was. And the worse it got the more and more she thought she was fine. Have your husband take a picture of right now, and a month from now. Even the smallest hit every now and then, you will see the difference in your face. Please fight this and don’t out your daughters through what I live with every day. Please. Always know there is a 23 year old girl out there somewhere praying for you, a woman she does not know, she has no mother and her one wish is to try to help you daughters keep theirs.
Ive never googled anything about meth but out of nowhere, I just felt the need too. To try and find out the truth if my mom was using. From pics I’ve seen I now know she was there’s no denying it. I’ve read people’s stories and my mother died from meth. I know that now. If I would have google this only two years ago I might still have her with me. But I’m two years too late. Im not sure how I stumbled upon your story, but I felt like I had to try to help. And I pray I did. I really do. I feel as if my mom was guiding my hand and put the thought in my head to tell you my story and give you the awful truth that no one else I’m my life knows. I pray you find your way back to your daughters, but the only way you can do that is all on uou. Only you. You have to put yourself in rehab if that’s what it takes. I pray you can forgive your daughters for turning on you when you needed them most. But I honestly am 99% sure they did it hoping to make you see its them or the meth and they hope they win. Please don’t blame them for something they feel is right. that is the only way the feel they can help. I should have with my mom I think. I believe it would have saved her life.
Sincerely,
The motherless girl.

Anna
4:09 am September 19th, 2015

My mother has been using meth for probably 15+ years. I’ve seen it for majority of my life, I’m 27 now. She is probably what you call an honest meth head, she doesn’t steal or do any crime, she doesn’t run around, she doesn’t even do it hardcore, she smokes it in little doses and stays to herself . She is a very loving caring person and would give you anything she could to help someone. She doesn’t work and is pretty much disabled. She has been through hell and back in her life with losing alot of family members including her husband, trying to keep a roof over her kids head which she did somehow, taking care of everyone but herself, which lead to depression and later drugs. But All in all she is a great person, but she has lied to my siblings and I our whole life, we know she uses, we’ve caught her countless times and she won’t admit it. I’ve never done drugs in my life but I’ve tried to understand that she’s been through alot, I don’t condemn her for doing it even though sometimes I want to cause of what she puts me through, but I hold myself together and try to help her as much as I can. My other sibling doesn’t understand and just freaks out on her for using it so I try to be the peace keeper and just talk to her rather than freak out on her, in hopes she’ll open up to me, which at times she has. But more often than not she denies it. Ive begged her and asked her to tell me and let me help her and she won’t. She denies ever doing it. She sleeps for 3 or 4 days on end being mad at the world, takes it out on her loved ones then feels bad for it days later when she gets her fix. I pay all her bills so she doesn’t have to worry, I help her with food and anything she needs and I never ask for a dime in return, the only thing I tell her is please don’t use meth. Which of course she denies. Now I’m at this point I mentally can’t handle it anymore, my own family sees what’s it’s doing to me and it’s not fair, and all I want to do is leave but of course that leaves her to lose everything, and the job I do I see too many addicts and what it does to them, I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to her as I walked away. But I know you can’t help those that don’t want it. My mother is very stubborn and doesn’t ask anyone for anything and I know she will not willingly go to rehab. So I’m desperate in asking if anyone that has any advice on how to help get her treatment that doesn’t require me dragging her to a clinic kicking and screaming lol :(. I know it’s a long shot but anything helps.

2:40 pm September 23rd, 2015

Hi Anna. Why don’t you try to speak to our trusted treatment providers about the possible treatment options that will fit your mother’s needs best and help her move past the habit. The helpline number is displayed on our page. And, although she might need structured treatment and help, it doesn’t mean it will involve kicking and screaming.

betty
3:44 pm September 26th, 2015

My husband does meth he has not worked in years he stays home I too have been in denial about his addiction I can’t leave him he has no one to turn to he has isolated himself his 2 grown children in their 30 r not around and really just does not care about him. I try to wall myself off I try to give him permission to tell me when he uses, he still lies , he tells me it has been a week when I see it was yesterday . I tell him he lies to himself now, it is sad I see his biggest symptoms is depression . No future I try to work around the addiction. I keep my finances to myself , he got the the bill money this time I didn’t see it coming but I will learn to close that loop hole I am trying to stop low rating him I try to look at it has the devil . And the devil wants me to low rate him that makes my husband want more.. so he can feel confident again it so hard I need to join a group to help me I don’t know why I want put time finding one, maybe I will I want to be taught???????? Maybe not to hurt so much maybe to get pleasure from my life without him. ?.he just don’t think ofthe future .. Iit is like having a stranger now who I know the past, I guess I love the person before the meth. Now all I have is this big sack of frustration. Help….. can’t find help. He want go… his mind is already getting dumb. He is angry most of time. Cleans one spot for a long time. I guess what he is going for is a future of being retarded. Maybe that is what I have left for a husband .I really wanted a partner to help me in my inhibition and I help him. Which I have been trying I want to be gretty now. He is definitely no help. Enough I hope I get a reply. I can’t leave he want leave

C
12:50 am October 3rd, 2015

I have been clean one mpnth and love it!!! My probs though are very very severe and i feel stuck hopeless depressed and scared. For my life as well. My bf of 3 years is on it and keeps saying hes not but he is. Today he once again hit himself closed fisted in his head and cut his arms up. He also put a knife to my cheek and yanked my hair. Should i call a womens home? ??? I have no one or no income.

3:14 pm October 9th, 2015

Hi Betty. I suggest you read this article http://alcohol.addictionblog.org/how-to-let-go-of-an-addict/ because sometimes, people cannot be helped and you need to focus on saving yourself and your children from all the suffering.

Tina
9:07 pm October 16th, 2015

My husband is a meth addict he is also a paranoid schaphrinic (misspelled) he thinks his family is dead.He sees me his wife of 20+ years as 5 different women and a man. He doesn’t see any of his family as family he has even said he saw me as a beast he talks to people that no one else can see all the time i want to help him without hurting him he tells me he misses going to church and wants to help other people stay off meth by telling his story when he doesn’t have the meth what can i do to help my husband get as close to normal as possible and still stay alive myself….?????

Tina
9:34 pm October 16th, 2015

My husband is a meth addict he is also a paranoid schaphrinic (misspelled) he thinks his family is dead.He sees me his wife of 20+ years as 5 different women and a man. He doesn’t see any of his family as family he has even said he saw me as a beast he talks to people that no one else can see all the time i want to help him without hurting him he tells me he misses going to church and wants to help other people stay off meth by telling his story when he doesn’t have the meth what can i do to help my husband get as close to normal as possible and still stay alive myself….????? My husband is a kind giving man when he takes his mental meds and isn’t on meth he gave the shoes off his feet to a homeless man once amd bought

melissa
6:06 am October 17th, 2015

I need help for meth addiction.im48 female mother and granmother lost home csr job now my family .no money very scared and depressed. live in na ind have Medicare.help

R Johnson
10:03 pm October 24th, 2015

This is great information for those seeking to know more about their suffering loved one’s addiction. As with all those facing addiction to alcohol, cocaine, heroin, crystal meth and every other addictive substance, those who truly seek recovery and find the right treatment plan for them have the opportunity to regain a well-balanced and healthy lifestyle.

Cathy
10:57 pm November 1st, 2015

My husband is 42 and a meth addict. He was in a court ordered residential treatment facility when we met. We got married in 2009. Since then he had 2 relapses on prescription pills, had his probation revoked and did a year in prison. He just celebrated 3 years sober in August. Then Im not sure what happened. I think it was cumulative. Our son had surgery, chronic pain, job loss. It just got to be too much. I noticed his behavior start to change and I had planned to talk to him, but he got arrested the same day. I had no idea it was meth. He refusesaid rehab (which we can’t afford) I wish we could afford a really good place. He is currently living in the guest house of a friend that is an ex addict hersefl. She tries to help people. A trying so hard to understand this while trying to maintain stability and routine for our 2 boys….I am heartbroken and lost

6:22 pm November 4th, 2015

Hi Tina. I suggest you search for dual-diagnosis addiction treatment in your area. Treatment programs like this can address the addiction issue, while being very considerate for the mental health condition and treat it accordingly. You can ask your husband’s doctor for referral, or search SAMHSA’s online treatment locator: https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/TreatmentLocator/faces/quickSearch.jspx

6:30 pm November 4th, 2015

Hi Melissa. Select here in which state you live https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/TreatmentLocator/faces/quickSearch.jspx and select the kind of treatment, health insurance and payment options that fit your needs.

amanda
9:30 am November 28th, 2015

Hi I am 25 years old and my father has been doing meth for as long as I can remember. My mother finally left him a couple years ago and now he is living with my 81 year old grandma who gives him access to unlimited amounts of money. He does not work and comes and goes all hours of the night. I know he smokes that stuff in her house and I’m scared he could even be making it there too. I’m terrified that he will end up overdosing and I’m also worried about the secondhand effects he is causing my grandma while using in her house. I just had my first baby 6 months ago and I don’t trust him around her. I want him to get clean and be around to watch her grow up. This is breaking my heart! I stay up at night worrying. I have tried to get my grandma to cut him off financially so he doesn’t have the easy ability to get his drugs. I love him very much and wish I could do something but he denies that he uses. Is there anyway to forcefully get him help? I often think about calling the police and turning him in. I know that is horrible and I don’t want him to go to jail but I would rather him be there than dead. Please give me some advice

2:13 pm November 30th, 2015

Hi Amanda. He doesn’t have to be compliant to go to a rehab treatment facility. You can stage an intervention and have people from the treatment place waiting for him to leave along with them for rehab. I suggest you call the helpline number displayed on our site to get in touch with our trusted treatment providers that can help you find the right kind of program for your father.

prisila
4:15 am December 3rd, 2015

my husband need help … he wants to stop but I don’t have any money to pay for money do you were I could get treatment for free please let me know right away

Lydia @ Addiction Blog
4:40 pm December 3rd, 2015

Hello Prisila. Call the helpline number displayed on our site to get in touch with our trusted treatment providers who can help your husband access adequate treatment program. Good luck!

Holly
8:41 pm December 6th, 2015

My cousin (35) has always been into drugs. I was always cool with that. He just recently started shooting up meth and has started going down a horrible road. Well he says he is done with it and is tires of living this way so he wants to come live with me about 200 miles away from where he is. I think it will be good for him and will definitely let him know that meth or any drug for that matter is not allowed in my home. What are some precautions I should take to prepare my home and my life for him coming to live with me? Any advice is appreciated.

Lydia @ Addiction Blog
12:19 pm December 9th, 2015

Hello, Holly. You’re setting an example of a true person, and everyone will be glad to have someone like you in their lives! I think that you’re doing a great job with your cousin. But, you might be careful, it’s your home after all, so stick to the policy “no drugs”. In the future, I suggest you to be aware of your cousin’s behavior, and also, have some over-the-counter medications and home remedies to help him ease withdrawal symptoms. He might consider counseling sessions too.

mike
8:36 am December 15th, 2015

Have a friend 8ntelligent and fun between weekly fix then becomes an animal where to start please??

Carly
9:41 am December 15th, 2015

Firstly..thankyou the information i have read has helped.I am aware that in order for me to be able to help my two family members they have to be ready…clearly they are not, im struggling with this. Please could you direct me to a centre close to where i reside..In NZ..Otaki Kapiti Coast.Thankyou.

Lydia @ Addiction Blog
10:57 am December 15th, 2015

Hi, Carly. Absolutely! You may contact our trusted treatment provider to learn more about your treatment options. The helpline is displayed on the site, or you can try SAMHSA’s Treatment Locator: http://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/ Good luck!

Mohammad
11:25 am December 21st, 2015

Hi my name is Mohammad I’m 19 years old I have been using crystal for 3 months my family don’t know I’m using crystal I stopped using crystal almost 4 days I’m tired of using so far I have lost everything in 3 months home family friends job car I just want to become my old self I think everyone is my enemy I think everyone wants to kill me I can’t trust anyone I have very difficult time dealing with this my body hurts I’m sad 90% of the day I get mad very easy I feel lonely its just vary painful losing all the people around me I can’t enter a treatment because of my family their Muslim they I can’t let them find out if they do find out they will kill me is there any other way I can get help this is not for me I’m not made for this this drug is the biggest mistake in my life

5:35 pm December 22nd, 2015

Hi Mohammad. Yes, crystal meth addiction can be devastating. But, by getting the right treatment and recovering from addiction can be a start of taking your life back into your hands. Call the helpline number displayed on our website to get more info about the treatment options available and suitable for you. Also, check Samhsa’s treatment locator https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/TreatmentLocator/faces/quickSearch.jspx for licensed rehabs near you.

Shawna
4:06 pm January 1st, 2016

My boyfriend is doing crystal meth. He has made talked to me about wanting to quit he is depressed and comes from a family of addicts please tell me how to help him I can’t lose him he is my best friend and my family

Lydia @ Addiction Blog
11:28 pm January 4th, 2016

Hello, Shawna. I suggest you call the helpline number displayed on our site to get in touch with our trusted treatment providers who can help him access an adequate treatment program.

Alena
10:54 pm January 8th, 2016

i need help to deal with my addiction with crystal meth and abusive relationship.

Lydia @ Addiction Blog
3:17 pm January 10th, 2016

Hi, Alena. I suggest you call the helpline number displayed on our site to get in touch with our trusted treatment providers who can help you access adequate treatment program. Or you may try SAMHSA’s treatment locator: https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/TreatmentLocator/faces/geographicSearch.jspx

Alan
3:38 am January 19th, 2016

My GF is a meth addict. She moved out a year ago because her drinking got bad. I had no idea she would then turn to meth. She moved in with some other girl who did meth too and that was a year ago – she has been doing meth daily for a year now. It has been crazy. She got kicked out of that spot cuz she was starting to get too paranoid and violent. Then she met some guy who she started a crazed meth relationship with. The two of them would drive around doing meth and the relationship got violent. They would scream and yell and hit each other. She would reach out to me every once in a while and I’d throw her a meal or something but I realized I was just being used. She finally left that guy after a few run ins with the police and then moved into some new “friend’s” place. They actually don’t do drugs and she hides it. They know something is up but so far have no idea what they have in their home. I don’t know if it’s my place to warm them or not. DO I tell them? She has been there for a a few months now and she seems to be doing ok – other than she does meth every day. But no drama or trouble that I know of. Maybe I just let this go? I know the people she is living with are good people and maybe it’s no longer any of my business but part of me feels like if that was me I’d want someone to tell me I have drugs and a drug addict in my house. Any advice?

Wendy
2:13 pm January 22nd, 2016

I really need help my son and I are both addicted to meth and its destroying our lives! Please help us I don’t know what else to do this is an emergency. Thank you.

Megan
7:49 pm January 30th, 2016

My husband apparently has been on Meth and occasionally Cocaine for a few years more so the last 2. I”ve made many attempts to get him to stop. I started seeing him deteriorate and i knew something was wrong he was lost but he wouldn’t let me help. We have 2 daughters young daughters that are seeing him not involved… 2 weeks ago Meth took him down a path that resulted in him cheating on me with a coworker of his. once oral in my car and oral and sexual intercourse in a hotel near our home that he paid with cash. Never in a million years would i have thought he would EVER cheat on me… and i got the phone call from the womans husband that was just as mad. but like an idiot i stood by my husband and decided i wouldn’t believe the “lies” her husband and her were telling me but i knew the drug conversation was true..
well 2 nights ago, he broke down and came clean with what he was using that he has injected stole my dads insulin needles confessed to all the lies he told me and it took him a little bit to come clean with him cheating and was absolutely scared that he was no longer welcome in the home and was crying that he didn’t want to lose his girls and me… we don’t have the money for rehab… I am absolutely devastated he told me he’s been running from himself lately his teeth are pretty much all gone or broken and he can’t even look at himself, lately he’s also been having issues in bed because he gets cramps and loses his breath to where he can’t finish due to not being able to breathe.

after his rock bottom moment, hes cut back on smoking cigarettes, he smiles more and even his touch feels way more positive then it has in years…i blocked the woman he slept with he said meant nothing he was just high… he is tired a lot… but nothing to bad yet.. he had a small baggie that he ended up using some the night he confessed. he’s been clean since..

as his wife i don’t know what to do, i haven’t even dealt with the emotions of the affair. i love him so much and i hate to see him in so much pain. but i am also so angry that he’s put me through years of i am going to quit i don’t want to loose you and the girls but never before had i seen that emotion and uncontrollable sobs coming from him. He’s a very good manipulator because of the way he had to grow up. his mother is who i found a relapse user but was arrested and sent to rehab when he was a young kid.

So how do i go about helping him and focus on the detox before the affair… or just drop the affair as hard as it will be to do… I want my daughters to have their father back…and of course i would love to survive our marriage…. is their hope? I’ve stood by him this long… but how much more pain should i be expected to endure now?

Kat
2:16 am February 4th, 2016

My husband has been using on and off for years. I am not a drug user myself. 6 months ago he promised he would stop but has continued behind my back. Now he is constantly lying to me. He’s gone for hours at a time, up for a few days. I’ve found bags and confronted him but he insists he’s not using. Unfortunately his source give it to him for free. I’m worried he is going to ruin his life as well as mine. How can I help if I can’t even get him to be honest with me?

Sandra Lee
7:24 am February 4th, 2016

I am concerned for my son he’s 26 on meth says isn’t a problem but is teeth going bad his sores aren’t healing mood swings depressed he’s a follower he has asthma he has separation anxiety from me scared be alone has learning disabilities I buried one niece and a cous my brothers all in one format of addiction I’m keeping kev away from anyone doing drugs but I feel he needs more support than I can give

Lydia @ Addiction Blog
3:13 pm February 5th, 2016

Hi, Kat. I suggest that you look into the CRAFT model for families and interventions. One NGO called Allies in Recovery has some online reading that can help: http://alliesinrecovery.net/about-craft/

Vanessa
8:35 pm February 15th, 2016

Hi,
My boyfriend of 10 years is a crystal method addict. We have two children together ages 2 & 7. He works full time and I’ve known for years that he’s had this problem, but he’s promised me he would stop. I always believed him. Recently I found a pipe in his work pants.. I don’t know what to do anymore? I want to believe that he’s going to stop but I just don’t know what to do to help him? He’s an amazing provider and I’ve never noticed him acting strange or “high”.. I only know he’s doing it because I found his pipe. I feel so lost. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how treatment works or if he would go to a center, would he be able to miss work? I want to help him, but I just don’t know how. I want him around in our lives but I want him sober.

Carly
1:21 am February 19th, 2016

Thankyou for this blog..i appreciate this.

SAMANTHA
7:01 pm February 29th, 2016

Hi, a friends mother uses meth ,she lives in her own house , by herself ,,her ste some of the things she done to herself,she douched with bleach went to the er , she recently cut all the hair off the top of her head ,rubs mayonnaise all over her body because she says glass is coming out of her skin.Recently she called 911 and said her neighbor shot himself in the head,the police and ambulance came at 1:30 am went to the house and the man was fine.What can be done ,and yes her daughter do sent even speak to her mother she’s just worried for her safty.

Leona
4:02 pm March 3rd, 2016

I need help. My adult son is doing liquid meth. I believe injecting and is seeming like he is in psychosis to heal the world. Posting it on Facebook. Making no sense. Lost all his friends. Is living in a house of addicts I believe alcoholics my son seems to believe what .His psychosis is telling him And seems to think meth is maknIng him see the light. He was a crack addict for about 12 years. And drinking. Now don’t know how long has been doing meth and alcohol. I don’t know what to do. I am scared to do nothing in fear he dies but I am lost as to what to do I don’t want to make it all worse. Please help me,

Diane
5:18 am March 11th, 2016

My ex has a really bad Meth addiction he is getting worse and worse and I worry about him. He left me 2 months ago for no reason and has gotton worse. What can we do to help him?

Ginger
10:55 pm March 14th, 2016

I’m heartbroken. We all are, I’m reading this crying. I’m feeling destroyed, soul crushing pain. This is my story.

I always wanted to be with my best friend’s brother (we’ll call him BP) since middle school. He was five years older than me, so attractive, had a nice home, was a marine, lots of pretty girlfriends, a really popular guy. Iwas devastated when he got married. It lasted one year. After hanging out a lot, We started a whirlwind affair, after his divorce. It was purely sexual, and we lacked chemistry although i wanted so badly for it to feel likemore. One day he took a call from his ex, and nonchalant, ended the call with “love you too”. I was right in front of him, naked in his bed, and that stung. He knew my co-worker was a meth addict and i later found out after his divorce, He fell into a deep depression where his only happiness was softball. Another guy introduced him to meth, and it was on after that. he asked me to get some from my co worker. She had me doing it with her a few times here and there, so i agreed. THIS was in 2000. I didn’t like anything about it but the energy and euphoria. We used, i helped him move while we were high. He proposed a three some with my co-worker and i, and i was done with him after hearing that. Fast forward to 2004. I went to a bar that my internet friends meet at and i Had stayed in touch with his sister through the years. She had told him I would be there, and I was very surprised when he showed up. I had gotten married in 2002. My husband was there as well. BPAppeared and I was extremely shocked at how much weight he had lost. He looked so sick. His skin was dark grey his eyes were sunken in and he actually opened his jacket showed me a pipe and said do you want to go for a ride? I told him I hasn’t messed with any drugs in years, plus my husband was there. ..NO way. I was terrified for him. I never got him out of my head. As much as he was a douche, this is also the kind of guy who loves everyone with all their heart, takes care of everyone, risks himself for others, gives gives gives and never asks for a thing. THE silent strong man who doesn’t tell a soul he is suffering but would do anything for you. That’s why I could never get over my attraction to him I loved that man’s heart. It’s the drug that brings out the extroverted pervert and everyone. He’d been on it since we first hooked up. Fat forward again, 2012. My marriage fell apart. BP and I started taking over Facebook. I found out he had been into the dirty meth business, selling and using until he went to prison for 19 mos. He lost everything, no car, lived at his parents house, BUT was in a transitional house post rehab. It was along my commute. I drove him each weekend and we talked and bonded. He was softer. THE cockiness was gone. Here was this incredible hearted man who ruined his life with this **** drug, now trying to rebuild. It took months, but we ended up together. I fell so hard in love with this man despite the glaringly obvious obstacles. I’m no idiot, I saw though the crap straight into his heart, and that man is amazing.
BUT that amazing heart has broken me due to the drug addiction. I have endured relapse through relapse and the pain and betrayal each time kills you. . There are no words. It got so bad I’d break his pipes. One time, this big tall strong man actually begged for it back, just one more time. His next sentence: “you can do it with me, if you want”.
I felt sick. I stupidly did it, for 2 weeks, because he promised he’d go to rehab, and knows I don’t get hooked on things. this allowed him to feel free, and took me into his circles, show me where he went, who he knew, everything. I sat there hating everyone, taking in info, hating myself. He went to rehab, I was . Still am. HE got out, and used after four mos. We got help, HE had 10 months, we got a house, and I had a baby. Relapse. Clean six months. Relapse. I kicked him out but I died inside because all he wants is to love and be loved. I have gone through every emotion. I won custody of my kids from my ex, who was unstable, have a baby of an addict, and as much as I love him, I’m effing dying from the pain he’s caused because I catch him on lies. HE was just busted three days ago and came clean about every secret he’s had the past three years. I just can’t believe a word. All addicts lie. His junkie friend’s feelings meant more to him than mine, because he was at one’s house when I caught him. He wanted to warn him that I was going to call and tell him he’s killing my bf. He had his aortic valve replaced last year. He’s diabetic. He’s got hep c from using, and contacted herpes from slutty drug skanks in the past. I’m a well educated classy girl and I could still love him. I feel crazy. On paper, He’s a nightmare red flag. If you met him, you’d respect him instantly. Meth ruins everyone’s lives. If I leave, he’ll use and die. If I stay, this could happen non stop until he dies. My kids and I don’t deserve that, We didn’t do anything but love him. I’m enraged. I’m scared. Nothing hurts like this. I have no idea what to do. Many tearful moments this week. I’m scared he’s sooo damaged there’s no help. I’m scared it’s ruined me to. He’s never used around kids, never at home. Only I notice of he’s high, other than him being overly thoughtful, He sweats more and doesn’t sleep well. That’s it. No violence, Nothing like that. BUT it’s a poison. and it’s killing him and I. Stay and help a man who desperately wants help and support of family, or just leave? God help us.

brenda.
5:48 am March 17th, 2016

I know my husband of going on 26 years of marriage is using our children and i have tried to talk to him about getting help but he will not admit that he is using(meth)says he don’t know where we are getting our imformation@ but we are wrong this has been going on for 2 years now what to do?

Lydia @ Addiction Blog
1:40 pm March 18th, 2016

Hi Brenda. I’d suggest you look into Allies in Recovery, an NGO that works with families to intervene with problem addicts using the CRAFT model of intervention:
http://alliesinrecovery.net/about-craft/.

Also, you may read these helpful articles:
http://addictionblog.org/author/dominique-simon-levine/

Gg
4:28 am March 20th, 2016

Son is a meth addict has many people after him wanting to kill him was recently almost Beaton to death family seems to hate him can’t imagine his life I am almost with stroke need help no money

Helpless
6:13 am March 25th, 2016

I’m 29 and my husband is 30. We’ve been married for 9 months (together over 3 years). I knew him in high school and knew he ran with a rough crowd- he was your typical charming bad boy. He and his friends were all pot smokers. He went to rehab for meth addiction at 19. I knew that about him, meanwhile I had a son at age 19. Needless to say we’ve made mistakes. We began dating almost a decade later. For most of our relationship we lived far apart and only saw each other on weekends. He moved in after proposing and that’s when I learned he was Jeckle and Hyde. My son and I were constantly on eggshells, any little thing could set him off. The mood swings were so extreme and made zero sense. I knew he smoked pot still, I didn’t like it, but it seemed to keep him calm and level. After moving in he took the nearest job to were my (our) house was, but it was a 64 mile commute. Cutting to the chase, I discovered a meth pipe hidden in a drawer in our basement last week. He says he’s been doing it because his days are so long- but admitted he did it before we were married and before the commute. And he’s been doing it on and off the whole time we’ve been together- but everyday for the last 4 months. His brother is a meth and cocaine user- his brother admits it and anyone with 2 eyes can tell by looking at him, so it was easy for my husband to get any drugs he wanted. I’m so disgusted and angry, I told his best guy friend and his father and begged them for help- his mother is an ex-user and no help. We just put an offer on a house, the timing is horrible. I’ve had my suspicions…I tried to confront he and his brother, so many lies for so long. I confronted my husband and ended up smashing the pipe. He went 3 days without meth and we had screaming matches and he started withdrawaling bad. He finally apologized and agreed to treatment, but now he’s gotten more meth and another pipe, and he’s back to using everyday. I made a doctors appt. and a counselors appt. He says prescription pills are just as bad or worse for him as meth- how can that be? What am I supposed to do?! He smokes 2 hits of meth every morning and smokes weed in the evening. Please tell me what to do, he’s acting like doing meth is no big deal- like a Flintstones vitamin- were talking about METH!? Is it really possible that he can just quit and start taking an anti-anxiety pill?

Ginger2
6:43 pm March 25th, 2016

Helpless,
He sounds like a lifer. I’m scared and crushed to believe my BF is one too. I ask why won’t he quit, and it is terrifying and heartbreaking how he says with all honesty, “I don’t know “.
No one can ever get out of meth’s clutches when they don’t think it’s s problem and are in denial, And when they have carefree users around them. This effing drug is literally an all -consuming monster, and it holds into the person’s freaking SOUL.
My bf is the most caring, loving, protective, wonderful man. A total country gentleman at heart. But this Damn drug can turn him into a twitching, grey sweaty walking corpse when he uses. And he’s trying to escape it the best he can for himself and his family, knowing I can’t go through another relapse, I’ll take the kids and leave. However there’s old buddies that reappear and all of a sudden he’s gotten high again. Please do what I’m doing. . Learn to strengthen yourself. I’m reading a book called co-dependent no more, it’s helping me a lot. When we love the person, it destroys us too. I hope nothing but good for you, hun. You’re not alone. I truly feel for you. And every one else hurting because they love an addict.

mannex
3:01 pm March 30th, 2016

my girlfriend whom im im about to marry,, have been using this drug fr about 6 months now,, but a couple of weeks she stoped using and i can see positive results ,, but my ? Is can an addict fight and leave this poison fr good on her own without going to rehab or getting any medication,,

Kit Kat
9:17 am April 3rd, 2016

My husband of 5 years is in denial about using meth I found pipes in his belongings he has lost his job he has lost weight he stays in the room smoking weed amd hiding his meth addiction all day he won’t help with any bills with his unemployment check. He is very argumentative im at my wits end I have never done any drugs …..ever!!! I just don’t get it! I want to leave. Is that the right thing to do? I can’t afford covering the household while he smokes up his money I need help!!!

Emily
6:32 am April 4th, 2016

My mother in law is an addict. She doesn’t want me to know but she wants help. She keeps going to my husband and telling him she wants help. I don’t know where to start with helping her because she won’t tell me anything. She just keeps telling him not to mention it to me. I think it’s because she knows I will do anything I can to help her stop and she isn’t really ready. I think she’s just a lot of talk but I want to help just in case she really is ready. What should I do?

Lydia @ Addiction Blog
2:02 pm April 7th, 2016

Hi Kit Kat. I suggest that you look into the CRAFT model for families and interventions. One NGO called Allies in Recovery has some online reading that can help:
http://alliesinrecovery.net/about-craft/

Lydia @ Addiction Blog
5:06 pm April 7th, 2016

Hi Emily. I suggest you call the number you see on the site and speak with a trusted treatment consultant who can help you find a treatment program that fits your mother-in-law’s needs

jorin
3:48 pm April 12th, 2016

My sister in law recently went from using crystal meth occasionally to all the time in the past month. There are some major concerns with her heath and mind from before she started using that leads our family to believe that she will be dead extremely fast but she doesnt seem to want our help. She has asthma, is missing a spleen, missing gal bladder, and depression (this is all stemming from when she was young to no fault of anyones. Born unlucky.) She started doing meth heavily about a month ago and this weekend tried to hold up her family for money and lie about being kidnapped. We got the police involved and there were over 30 police and detectives trying to find her. When we were able to get to her she was covered in sores and instantly started screaming at the family that was there.

to give a little background on why we arent sure if we can help her in the small amount of time she will probably have, due to pre-existing health problems. Before all this happened over the course of about a decade (teen to young adult years), she has constantly tried to manipulate her family. She lies all the time, she fakes depression to get things and started arguments to try and get her way. She tried to separate the family members and take money from all of them. She has put off school so she could go the beach ever day instead. she was incredibly lazy. When we tried to help her finish school and give her a place to live when her and her boyfriend broke up, she used her $50 weekly rent money to buy makeup and things instead.

We are almost 100% sure she started doing meth as a way to make her family feel bad for her and give her money, which is why we arent sure if we can help her at all. She exhausted resources after years of other people paying for her car, repairs, rent, school, food, etc. She over time would turn to sex for money to use it against the family. “You dont know what I have to do for this rent money because of you.” She pretended to be depressed and suicidal. When given an easy job, she refused to do any work and just stood around. Now she has turned to having an inmate boyfriend and doing drugs. She is trying to emotionally scar her family and tell them its their fault again.

Is she even able to be helped? I know some people say you must wait until they want to be helped, but her medical needs pretty much put her on a short list the death. Shes not the greatest person in the world either which makes it even harder. (the family used to think she was depressed and needed help but figured out shes just a horrible person with no morals.)

admittedly I think we should let her go and let her ruin herself because the family cant take any more emotional abuse for no reason. just because she thinks its fun. At the same time, she is still a daughter and a sister and we dont want her to die if she can even be helped. Should we all go to family therapy? Or should just her related family try to go together without significant others and get advice?

Laura
10:19 pm April 13th, 2016

He addmitt it that he does it almost few times a week.. He has craving for ice cream.. He tells me he can stop on his own.. He never wants to hear my speech the bad things that ths does for him.. I encourage him to eat and he does What else can I do to help him? He is 20 years old and i have no control of where and who he hangs out.. Some one help,,

Lydia @ Addiction Blog
1:18 pm April 15th, 2016

Hi Laura. Check out Allies in Recovery:http://alliesinrecovery.net/about-craft/ , an NGO that works with the CRAFT model for families and interventions.

Lydia @ Addiction Blog
3:16 pm April 15th, 2016

Hi Jorin. I suggest that you look into the CRAFT model for families and interventions. One NGO called Allies in Recovery has some online reading that can help:
http://alliesinrecovery.net/about-craft/

jorin
5:20 pm April 15th, 2016

thank you ill look into it. We now have a problem with one of the parents supporting the habbit and not wanted to get help themselves. very sad for my sister as it will be nearly impossible unless everyone works together..

Taylor
7:45 pm April 18th, 2016

Hi, so my boyfriend and I have been together almost a year and he has a meth problem. His mother and his two older brothers introduced it to him when he was only 13. We are now both 18 and I have caught him twice using meth in the bathroom. His brother(also his best friend in the world), his brothers girlfriend, her whole family, and all of their friends all do it, and he refuses to stay away from his brother because he loves him. But i know that his brother is the one who supplies him with ice when he wants it and it makes me sick. I just want to help him. I want to pull him away from all of this but he refuses to listen. He tells me he wants to stop and I told him I would be by his side no matter what, and that we will get through his addiction together but I don’t know what else to do. He keeps lying to me and sneaking around. Please help.

justin
12:38 pm May 6th, 2016

Hi Taylor,

Just wanted to share some information from my perspective… (I use meth and I have for the past 10+ years…. If you want to have your boyfriend stop using and stop lying and sneaking… You will be highly (no pun intended) unsuccessful. I suggest you let him find out for himself that the drug results in nothing good. If you try to get this message and keep pushing it on him, of course he will hide and lie and do whatever it takes…. to get the fix…. Better to let him know you love him and support him and encourage treatment or ways to reduce use, but to have the lies stop, the judgment and aggressive approach must as well. That’s just my thought… I AM SO READY TO QUIT!!!! Someone help me! I will spare the story, but I have a boyfriend that I do not want to lose and it’s the only way… </3 …

can't tell
6:03 am May 8th, 2016

My soul mate has a bad addiction on methamphetamine and she wants help but she won’t accept it from me and her family doesn’t kno but she will do anything for help

Joanie
11:17 pm May 11th, 2016

So should we stop all giving of money, food etc and just reassure him of our love and willingness to help him when he wants help which right now he says “over my dead body” He is jobless,homeless depressed unhealthy even to the point of caring about personnel hygiene.He is also addicted to gambling–pulltabs–.He sells everything we give him from gift cards I-pad,clothes what ever he can get money for.Should we stop taking any calls from him?He has at least 7 credit cards all maxed out with no intention of paying.Zit,s just too painful to hear from him.

simone
4:53 pm May 13th, 2016

Hi. My husband and I have our recently married now separated son, a binge Meth user now living with us. I know the addiction is very powerful and he is cunning, deceptive, ruthless and selfish and has all the signs and symptoms of use. Been using it for 10 years, 29 years old. While he was manic, he started a building business thinking he was invincible, wrong decisions, lots of unpaid debt, unsupportitive wife, in and out of meth use. He can shot up $2000 (NZ) in one sitting and come out quite well. I am amazed! He has lied as they do, stolen money from us, and we are nearly into retirement with no superannuation as he has stolen it all from us. Now he is home. Can we throw him out? Unconditional love verses tough love but hay, he says he wants to give it all up. Just cant believe him. We have a contract drawn up if he stays and one stipulation is that he seeks professional help or programme. He cant stop working as he has to pay off his debts but he is so smart and can pull the wool over peoples eyes.Consequently, I dont sleep, have become quite anxious and lost all joy in living, He says he wants to die and sometimes I think maybe that might be a good idea. Terrible that I should think this but he is putting so much pressure on our marriage, our health and now on our grown adult married children and grandchildren. He had a time in prison for driving while under the influence of alcohol and the good side of that is that he became clean but only lasted for a short time. So hard not to give up on him but when he cries in your arms, it is hard to throw him out. I wish the police could erradicate the suppliers permantly. I feel so low myself. How can I get on top.

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