Signs my son is a drug dealer

A former drug dealer (now in addiction recovery) answers parents’ drug questions here. Know/verify the signs your son is a drug dealer and ask him straight questions here.

minute read

“Desperately need to talk!”

Several months ago, I got a Facebook message from an old high school sweetheart. It read, “Desperately need to talk!” Its funny how your past can hunt you down now-a-days with all this social media. At first I was hesitant to respond. For me, the past is ancient history; I’m not that same guy. Anyway, I sent her my cell number.

Why did she call me?

Easy answer. I was a drug dealer in high school during the 70s. I sold marijuana and cocaine. I had a car and new clothes. I ate out every night. I had the hottest chicks. Bad boys always do. I rented hotels for parties. I had a scale and a drawer full of money. And I never got caught. Well, strike that, I became addicted to heroin and barely survived.

“My son is a drug dealer…”

Of course, the next day she called, frantic, whispering, she said, “My son is a drug dealer. He’s 18, told me he’s been dealing since he was 15.” She rambled on, non-stop, “How did I not see it? I should have figured it out! He quit basketball. He loved basketball. We thought the reason his marks went from B’s to C’s and D’s were because of girlfriends. Ya know, that thing that happens to boys.”

I let her go on for two reasons. First, I felt her pain and disbelief. But the bigger reason I shut-up was because I was trying to enlist a healthy response that wouldn’t offend her. And then she yelled, “Richie, are you there? Are you listening?”

But before I could complete my sentence she jumped in again, “I’m kicking myself in the ass. He had a new iPhone, an iPad, and the clothes. He had three pair of True Religions, said they were his friends. They cost $300 dollars a pair.” She took a beat, I could hear her filling up and she said, “How stupid could I have been?”

Finally, when I was convinced she was through, I talked. But I didn’t have to tell her anything. I was like a good therapist, just shut my mouth and let the answers to all the questions unfold naturally. She got it. She missed it. She chose to be blind. She realized the mindset, “Not my kid,” is for morons.

Shame and guilt for parents can be avoided

But most of all, she felt guilty and full of shame for allowing it to get to this point, the truth killed her. Parents of drug users can often feel this way.  She no longer could hide that which subconsciously she always suspected. Now, her 18-year-old son was in jail.

Don’t be a moron

Now my rant, if you’re Catholic, you know the story of John the Baptist. Everybody thought he was nuts. He came before Christ and yelled and screamed warning to everybody. Funny, but I like to consider myself the John the Baptist of drug addiction. So I’ll tell you what my high school sweetheart told herself. Don’t be a moron.

IF your son:

  • has lots of friends dropping by without notice
  • has the newest electrical gadgets on the market
  • has expensive looking clothes
  • has a phone lit up like a Christmas tree with calls
  • leaves shortly after each call
  • loses interest in sports or studies

THEN, your son is most likely a drug dealer.

Throw trust and privacy out the window

You have to be proactive if you don’t want to lose your boy. Check for good hiding places in his room, the garage, or basement. Don’t even consider the “trust and privacy” bull crap. This isn’t a relationship. You’re his parent!

Confront him.

Confront him

Confront him.

Watch his reaction. You know your boy! Don’t lie to yourself anymore and you’ll never have to call and old sweetheart from high school.  Have any questions or feedback? Is your child addicted to drugs?  Please write to us below.  We try to respond to all comments personally and promptly.

About the author
Richie Farrell won the du-Pont-Columbia for directing the HBO documentary film, High on Crack Street: Lost Lives in Lowell. That film inspired the 2010 major motion picture The Fighter that went on to win academy awards for Christian Bale and Melissa Leo. Farrell's memoir What’s Left of Us: A Memoir of Addiction has been optioned for a movie and currently in development. Richie Farrell is one of the top substance abuse and motivational speakers in the United States. More Info @ My Heroin Life.
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